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March 22, 2006
Kill Bill Homes
I've been a little sleep-deprived lately. And today, when I could not hold my head up at my desk, I stepped out for a quick walk. Across the street is a KB Homes Design Showroom. I had never had any reason to go there, but I popped in today.
What awful glee I had. There was not a single good thing in the showroom. Even the designers of the retail space seemed to despise the merchandise. Against the clean lines, bright colors, halogen lights and crisp aluminum windows, the merchandise looked like Mennonites crashing a disco.
First several kitchens. Yuk! In a hotel or apartment - fine, but not in my house!
Next bathrooms, with stern signs everywhere proclaiming, "White. Only available in white."
Now porch lights. Why, why, why do they all look like eighteenth century carriage lanterns? And why are they so big? That must have been one huge buggy.
And your choice of three, count them three, plastic door types. The plastic doors are supposed to look like wood, but they look like Disney wood, with over-exaggerated wood grains. Real wood doors are sanded, and you can't see the wood grain. I say, if you are going to use plastic, embrace your materials. Make it look like Legos or Tupperware or something.
Now carpet, tile, and paint. Beige! Beige! Beige! Eight hundred shades of beige! No wonder couples go after each other's throats when they're designing a house. "Honey, it's 'sweet cream' not 'corn silk'. Can't you tell the difference?" "No! And I don't care! I don't care about anything anymore!"
My God I love our house. It is going to be so cool.
Posted by David at March 22, 2006 11:33 PM
Comments
I remember my husband and I visited a new home development that had won all of these awards for design and planning back when we decided to move -- I don't think we lasted 10 minutes there. They were like whole houses made by the same people who manufacture those inexpensive, cheesy stereo units and bookshelves for WalMart. The real kicker was when we asked if a certain room in one floor plan could be modified (change a laundry room to a first floor bathroom) to accomodate a family member with mobility problems. You'd think I'd just asked for the moon. Bloody idiots.
I hate plastic doors too, but I will admit to having one in my home of otherwise great old doors -- it's a pocket door to a bathroom that's designed to be wheelchair accessible, and it's light weight makes it ideal for use there.
Posted by: Shauna at March 23, 2006 05:00 PM
I remember that being my mom's biggest complaint when she and my dad built a Pulte home. Their choices were VERY limited and VERY overpriced. In general, their home was crazy affordable, and I think that for a lot of people that justifies not getting exactly what you want. But I have found our modernist tastes to be, so far, suprisingly affordable, maybe just because modernism tends towards the simple and sometimes minimalist. It seems like a real bummer that people aren't being given more options. Ah well.
David has more of an eye for detail than I do. I don't think I'd notice a plastic door (versus some other kind... wood? metal?) if it melted on my face.
Posted by: Christiane at March 23, 2006 07:41 PM
Okay, so it's nearly 2 years after you posted this blog, but I'm glad someone else out there understands my pain with "builder" grade materials. I cannot understand why the $3 dollar light fixtures they put in every house have to look like the wal-mart version of grandma's house. Since when did brass-plated aluminum equal upscale anyway? And the oak?!? It's everywhere...the colonial turned posts for the railings, the upgraded hardwood floors that builders charge $5K or more to have, and the cabinets. YUK! We might as well keep the plastic on the sofa while we're at it. Oh, and maybe avocado appliances are due for a comeback.
Posted by: Chris L at February 10, 2007 08:49 PM